5 Secrets for Parents: Reduce the "Mom Anxiety"

Do you follow those perfect moms on Instagram? The ones that appear to have it all figured out?  What about that mom in your kids class that always over does the other moms when it comes to party snacks and participation at school functions? They seem like super mom from an outside point of view. You think they have life figured out, they never yell at their kids, and their house is probably perfectly in order. 

The rest of us, on the other hand, are just normal, everyday, stressed out moms, nothing to be admired.  We have stress, We yell at my child and feel guilty, We cry in the shower about my guilt from being a "bad mom" sometimes.  But is this because we are bad moms, or because we are trying to live up to the "Perfection" standard?

Trust me, that "super mom" has the same worries all moms have.  They stress over the little things too. Maybe they just hide it better. Your kids know you are stressed and they sense it as a distancing from you and them. This is why they may seem so needy when you are overly stressed.  You have to slow down. Look at your life and decide what needs to change for you to be a better, less stressed mommy!

Start here...

1. Stop taking on so much!!!
Make a list of everything you do that is taking up your time. Of course your job will be on the list, your chores will be on the list, but so will the PTO participation, the kids extracurricular practices, your book clubs, mom groups, your blog, etc.  THEN take a look at everything on that list. What are somethings you could give up to free up time? What is taking away from quality time with your family? Could you and your spouse take turns driving kids to practice? You may be known as the mom that always says yes and you don't like letting people down. But keep in mind who you're letting down by saying yes (yourself, and maybe your family).  If you don't feel then desire to say YES immediately (because it will make you feel fulfilled) when asked to participate in something else, you should probably say no. Moms want to be involved in so much, especially when our children are involved. If it is a way to spend more time with your kids that's not bad. But you need to step back and see what duties you can let go of if you want less stress. Learn to say NO.

2. Exercise
Ugh, I know. When we are stressed it's the last thing we want to do. It might seem contradictory, but the physical stress you'll put on your body by exercising will help release endorphins to relieve your mental stress. Exercising regularly will create even better benefits including; lower stress hormones, improves quality of sleep, and gives you a feeling of confidence which certainly helps your mental health. It is a difficult habit to get into, though you will thrive psychologically and physically by adding exercise to your daily routine. 

Try to find an activity you enjoy, such as yoga, jogging, weightlifting, dancing, etc. This will make the process less mundane. Once it becomes a habit, you will crave exercise and your life will be a bit more free from stress.
3. Reduce Caffeine Intake
In no way am I promoting less coffee, because coffee is essential to some. But think about everything else you drink or eat that has caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant that in high doses causes anxiety. Energy drinks, Sodas, Chocolate, Pre-workouts all have extremely high amounts of caffeine, even more than coffee. Consider looking at how much caffeine you are drinking in a day. You may see that reducing this alone can reduce your stress. Instead of pre-workout, use coffee to reduce your caffeine intake and lower your anxiety.

4. Laugh
It's hard to feel anxious when you're laughing. Laughing relieves stress and moves more oxygen into your body and organs while stimulating your stress response. No, don't just sit in your room making yourself laugh like a lonely hyena. Watch a funny movie, look up funny memes on pinterest, do something that you know will make you laugh. Have you kids watch a funny TV show from your childhood. Play games like, Headbands, 5 Second Rule, or Pictionary. Thursdays in our house has been game night for years now. These three games always make us laugh out loud continuously. 

5. Take A bath already!
Even if my day has been filled with havoc, I usually always take my time in the shower to try and relax. Sometimes after I wash off, I will run the bath adding some Epsom Salt, a couple tablespoons of Baking Soda, a sprinkle of Ginger, and some lavender or tea tree oil.  This bath recipe will relax your muscles and your mind will calm from the scent you have added. A bath is a great way to end a long stressful day. Light candles and turn out the lights if you prefer. Most bathrooms do have lights as bright as the sun itself, which makes it more difficult to chill out. 

While stress is created due to thoughts and feelings some times, they stem from a more biological nature. Taking care of yourself physically, can help to enhance your mood and change your attitude towards everything, including your parenting skills. Gaining confidence in yourself will also help to improve your patience and be that super mom you want to be.